she woke up with a sticky ear
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
