Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
