Banned from zoo.
Again?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
