don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
