my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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