I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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