It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
