I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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