what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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