Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
