Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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