I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
