Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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