I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
