tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
