I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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