There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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