Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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