Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
