Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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