would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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