Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize