Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize