Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
