Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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