im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
