bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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