just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
