you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
