This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
