Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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