I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
