don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
