Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
