I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
home. puking in laundry basket.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize