The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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