Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
