Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
