The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
