Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
