The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
