no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
