I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
