Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize