I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
well you can't waste a boner
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
