i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
