i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize