My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dick very happy bro
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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