Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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