yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
