please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
