i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
