i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
