I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize