Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
