I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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