I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
