I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
