6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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