You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize