He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
