Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize