I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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