new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
