Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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