your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
